Spoiler alert, there’s no such thing as magic quitting beans! YOU have to do it. Yourself. But you don’t have to do it by yourself. You could hire me to help you.
When I was looking to quit drinking, I joined an online group of maybe 4.5k people all looking to do, or having done, the same thing. It was there that I learned what I needed to do, and found the tools and support I needed. In that community I found a great bunch of people who’d quit and seemed to be living great lives. I wanted that too.
By the time I found the group, I was desperate for change and knew I needed to quit drinking, though I often convinced myself I was okay. Over six months, I started putting what I learned into practice, managing a few days off drinking at a time here and there. As my skills improved, I reached up to three weeks alcohol-free, but I kept being drawn back, thinking maybe I was fine after all – maybe I was OK and things weren’t as bad as I thought!
The only problem was I was far from OK. Every time I went back to drinking after one of these breaks I was back where I started astonishingly quickly. If anything, my drinking was getting worse overall.
Where were my magic quitting beans?
After that three-week stint, I was back in the hole I’d dug, having been tempted by a lunchtime glass of wine when a guest visited. Just the one, we said, but one was never just one and hadn’t been for a long time. As I sat there, staring at my screen through the fog of another hangover, I felt dejected, wondering if I’d ever be able to do it. I couldn’t help but ask myself: how had others managed it, but I hadn’t?
What was wrong with me? What did these people have that I didn’t? What was their secret?
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It turned out there was no secret. They weren’t so different from me, and no one had given them a handful of magic quitting beans. They had simply got serious about what they wanted, made a commitment, and stuck to it, and that’s what I had to do too.
I had to stop waiting around for someone to give me a handful of magic quitting beans, pull up my big girl pants, and get serious about it.
I started by making myself a plan. In it I put all the things I had coming up in the next 50 days, working on the idea that 50 days was both big enough to be a real achievement, and doable. In it I put all the events I had coming up, including a wedding and my own birthday, and what I was going to do in order to stay alcohol free at each of them.
There’s no such thing as magic quitting beans!
Stick to the plan became my mantra, and sticking to the plan was what I did. I had to be consistent, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, stay off the booze, manage the discomfort, play it forwards, find the dis
50 days passed, and I felt elated. 90 passed and I was flying! I am now well on my way to 8 years alcohol free.
It wasn’t easy by any stretch, and stopping putting alcohol in my body was just the first step. The larger part of the work for me was unpicking all the reasons I drank, which took a fair bit of time. But to even get to that part, I had to consistently take action.
I had to show up for myself, consistently take action, not pick up, not get swayed by ideas of being OK, and stay on my path.
If this is an area you’d like help with, reach out. I offer focussed, 6-session coaching packages to people looking to change their drinking, and I know it works. Hire me to help you, you do not have to do this alone.
