When we speak of autistic shutdowns and meltdowns, we’re referring to two very different responses to overwhelming stress—and yet they’re often misunderstood or conflated. In this post, we’ll clarify the difference as described in Dr Devon Price’s Unmasking Autism, explore how social conditioning shapes who “gets away” with emotional expression and who doesn’t, how that influences masking, and ultimately how autistic people navigate shutdowns and meltdowns.
Differentiating shutdown and meltdown
Price (2022) distinguishes between meltdowns and shutdowns: a meltdown is an emotional “blow-up” – tears, anger, perhaps aggression; a shutdown is a collapse inward – silence, withdrawal, no longer able to respond or act. Both are involuntary, stress-induced responses to sensory, emotional, or social overload.
Verywell Mind (2024a) defines shutdowns as a withdrawal – mental and physical – triggered by overwhelming stimuli, sometimes including exhaustion or loss of coordination.
Social conditioning: Who gets to express emotion?
Social norms around emotional expression are profoundly shaped by race, gender, class, ability, and more, and deeply impact where we go with our autistic shutdowns and meltdowns.
- White, gender-conforming, affluent boys are often permitted – and even praised – for emotional outbursts like anger (“boys will be boys”), while women and girls, particularly those who are Black, brown, trans or queer, are frequently silenced or punished for similar expressions (Lewis, 2022).
- Class and poverty add another layer: low-income autistic individuals may face harsher judgement or fewer supports when expressing distress, while those with privilege may have more leeway to express meltdown without pathologising (Tiimo, 2025).
- Broader ableism also enforces social conditioning: disabled people must “overcome” their disability to gain respect – so showing emotion or “losing control” becomes risky (Botha, 2022).
Diagnostic tools and societal assumptions are also gender-biased: autistic women, non-binary and trans people are underdiagnosed due to more effective masking and non-stereotypical traits (Tiimo, 2025). Women and AFAB (assigned-female-at-birth) individuals often mask better and internalise distress, leading to shutdowns rather than meltdowns. They learn to blend in – social conditioning at work – until internal stress builds to a breaking point.
How social conditioning feeds masking
Masking (or camouflaging) is the practice of suppressing or mimicking neurotypical behaviours to fit in (National Autistic Society, n.d.). Autistic people mask to avoid stigma, bullying, or discrimination (Hull et al., 2017).
For many autistic people with marginalised identities – such as those who are Black, brown, queer, trans, working-class, or disabled – masking is layered on top of another constant: hypervigilance. Hypervigilance is the heightened state of scanning the environment for potential threats. For marginalised people, this is often a learned survival strategy developed to navigate spaces where discrimination, harassment, or violence are genuine risks (Sue, 2010; Lewis, 2022). In this context, masking is not just about concealing autistic traits – it becomes part of a broader safety protocol, where every word, movement, or expression is assessed for how it will be received.
The efforts required are exhausting: autistic women, in particular, are noted to mask more due to greater societal pressure to conform—leading to emotional and mental exhaustion, identity loss, depression and even burnout or suicidality (Verywell Health, 2024; Cassidy et al., 2018).
Masking also contributes to late or missed diagnoses, since professionals may not detect autistic traits beneath the social performance (Lai & Szatmari, 2020).
Masking’s toll and the experience of shutdowns & meltdowns
Long-term masking can lead to autistic burnout – physical and mental exhaustion, loss of function, increased autistic traits, and withdrawal from life (Raymaker et al., 2020).
When masking fails – and pressure piles up – meltdowns and shutdowns occur. Masking, as a high-energy performance, leaves little in reserve: the slightest additional stress can trigger a meltdown (agitated, emotional release) or a shutdown (withdrawn, frozen response) (Embrace Autism, 2025).
Because shutdowns are less visible and audible, they may be misinterpreted as laziness or depression – a result of societal blindness to internal overload, especially in masked individuals.
How I can help
In sum, autistic shutdowns and meltdowns are involuntary responses to overwhelm, deeply influenced by social conditioning: who is allowed to feel, who must perform, and who must hide. Masking is often a survival strategy – but it carries a cost.
If this resonates with you or someone you know, start by seeking understanding allies – supportive individuals or professionals who recognise the difference between meltdown, shutdown, and masking. Let’s work together to dismantle the conditioning that tells autistic voices to hush, and instead create spaces where authenticity isn’t just allowed, it’s celebrated.
If you’d like explore working together to explore how these issues show up in your life, get in touch:
- I provide a safe space where authenticity is valued, without pressure to perform or conform.
- I can help you identify triggers and patterns – both sensory and social – that build toward meltdown or shutdown.
- I can support you in develoing strategies to manage overload: structured routines, sensory supports, time for special interests, low‑arousal environments, and scheduled recovery from masking.
- I can assist you in advocating for the broader acceptance and understanding you need, which can ultimately help in reducing stigma and biases in your environments.
Neuro & LGBTQ+ affirming counselling & coaching
central London, SE1 & online globally
References
Botha, M. (2022) Internalised ableism in autism. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, p.9304167. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9304167/ (Accessed: 15 August 2025).
Cassidy, S., Bradley, P., Robinson, J., Allison, C., McHugh, M. and Baron-Cohen, S. (2018) ‘Suicidal ideation and suicide plans or attempts in adults with Asperger’s syndrome attending a specialist diagnostic clinic: a clinical cohort study’, The Lancet Psychiatry, 1(2), pp.142-147.
Embrace Autism (2025) Meltdowns and shutdowns. Available at: https://embrace-autism.com/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/ (Accessed: 15 August 2025).
Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M-C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P. and Petrides, K.V. (2017) ‘Behavioural and cognitive sex/gender differences in autism spectrum condition and typical development’, Autism, 21(6), pp.706–727.
Lai, M-C. and Szatmari, P. (2020) ‘Sex and gender impacts on the behavioural presentation and recognition of autism’, Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 33(2), pp.117–123.
Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust (n.d.) Meltdowns and shutdowns. Available at: https://www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/ (Accessed: 15 August 2025).
Lewis, A. (2022) ‘Race, gender, and emotional expression norms’, Journal of Social Issues, 78(3), pp.521-539.
National Autistic Society (n.d.) Masking. Available at: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking (Accessed: 15 August 2025).
Price, D. (2022) Unmasking Autism: The power of embracing our hidden neurodiversity. New York: Harmony.
Raymaker, D.M., Teo, A.R., Steckler, N.A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S.K., Hunter, M. and Nicolaidis, C. (2020) ‘Having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew: Defining autistic burnout’, Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), pp.132-143.
Sue, D.W. (2010) Microaggressions in everyday life: Race, gender, and sexual orientation. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Tiimo (2025) Why autism diagnosis often misses women and AFAB people. Available at: https://www.tiimoapp.com/resource-hub/autism-women-afab-late-diagnosis/ (Accessed: 15 August 2025).
Verywell Health (2024) For many autistic women, high masking leads to long-term burnout. Available at: https://www.verywellhealth.com/autistic-women-high-masking-burnout-8725698 (Accessed: 15 August 2025).
Verywell Mind (2024a) What to know about navigating autistic shutdowns. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-to-know-about-navigating-autistic-shutdowns-8664150 (Accessed: 15 August 2025).