How to have happier holidays when you’re autistic

The holiday season can be especially challenging for autistic people, making it hard to have the happy holiday experience others seem to expect. From Thanksgiving and through Christmas to New Year’s, there’s a nonstop stream of holiday events, sensory overload, and social expectations, creating an environment that can feel overwhelming and exhausting.

With a few adaptations, and working with our needs and preferences, we can craft a holiday season that works for us, allowing us to have happier holidays.

For people autistic people, holiday gatherings can be intense due to sensitivities around sensory input, social interaction, and changes in routine. You might also like to check out my companion ‘how to’ for having happier holidays when you have ADHD.

The bright lights, loud music, and festive decorations that others enjoy can be overstimulating or even distressing, leading to increased anxiety or meltdowns. Managing crowded or chaotic environments during this season can also feel daunting.

Social expectations around gatherings and small talk can add stress, as many of us may find it draining to participate in large groups or handle rapid-fire conversations. Additionally, navigating unstructured social time can be challenging, as it often comes with unclear expectations and unpredictable interactions.

Changes to our routines—whether through travel, altered schedules, or unexpected holiday activities—can feel unsettling, sometimes leading to stress or a sense of being out of control.

With support from loved ones and understanding our own needs, we can set ourselves up for a more comfortable holiday season.

While the holiday season can be overwhelming for those of us with autism, a few mindful adjustments can help us engage in ways that feel safe and fulfilling, making the season more manageable and even enjoyable. Embracing strategies that cater to our unique needs can help us find a path to happier holidays on the autism spectrum.

Here are some tips for having happier holidays when you’re autistic

Plan Ahead:

• Create a schedule: Develop a clear schedule for holiday activities, including any events, family gatherings, and downtime. Having a structured plan can reduce anxiety and help manage expectations.
• Prepare for changes: If you know there will be changes to your routine or environment, prepare for them in advance. Discuss any upcoming changes with a trusted person if needed to help you feel more at ease.

Manage sensory overload:

• Create a sensory-friendly space: Designate a quiet area where you can retreat if you become overwhelmed. Equip it with calming tools, such as noise-canceling headphones, fidget items, or soft lighting.
• Control sensory inputs: If possible, adjust sensory inputs to your comfort level. For example, you might use earplugs or a sensory-friendly outfit, and communicate any specific sensory needs to those hosting gatherings.

Set boundaries:

• Communicate needs: Clearly communicate your needs and boundaries to family and friends. Let them know about any specific accommodations that might help you feel more comfortable during the holidays.
• Practice self-care: Schedule time for yourself to relax and recharge. Prioritise activities that help you feel calm and centered, whether it’s reading, listening to music, or engaging in a hobby.

Prepare social strategies:

• Role-play scenarios: Practice common social scenarios or conversation starters with a trusted person. This can help you feel more prepared and reduce social anxiety during holiday gatherings.
• Take breaks: If you’re attending social events, plan to take breaks when needed. Stepping away from a busy environment can help you manage stress and sensory overload.

Use visual supports:

• Visual schedules: Create visual schedules or calendars to keep track of holiday events and activities. Visual supports can help you understand what to expect and provide a sense of control.
• Social stories: Use social stories to prepare for specific holiday events or interactions. These can help you understand social expectations and navigate different situations more effectively.

While the holiday season can be challenging for those of us on the autism spectrum, a few thoughtful strategies can make it more enjoyable and less overwhelming, setting us up for a happier, more comfortable festive period.

By setting realistic expectations, planning ahead, and making time for self-care, it’s possible to create a holiday routine that works for us. Support from family and friends can ease the pressure, allowing space for more meaningful and enjoyable moments. Remember, it’s perfectly fine to celebrate the holidays in a way that suits you best and respects your needs.

If autism-related challenges are impacting your life, and you’d like support navigating this season, feel free to reach out. Let’s chat about how we can work together to make things a little easier.